New Year, New.... ?

I've never been one to set new year's resolutions... and this year is no different... some look at a new year as a new beginning when really, each day can be a new beginning- why do we need the turn of new year to make a big change? Why not challenge ourselves to change and be the best we can each and every day?

I am always going to watch cheesy tv, laugh at random things, make it to the gym when I can (and not beat myself up when I cannot), travel whenever/wherever I can, try new recipes, have goals for my personal and professional life, strive to be the best me I can be...no matter the time of year.

Happy New Year y'all :)

Hibernation.

This past weekend was a crystal clear indicator that this winter is going to be one of hibernation. It was a reminder that some things never change and some never face issues at hand- simply sweeping them under the rug and hoping the pile of dirt isn't too obvious. With that said, this will not be a winter of hibernation of hiding but one of personal growth... focusing on reflection, self-improvement and health. A winter of travel, exploration and trying new things. A winter focused on family, friends and strengthening relationships.

Sometimes you need a reminder to focus on the positive and after all the surprises I got yesterday- I thankfully ended my day reading the most perfect passage from "The Great House of God" by Max Lucado:

"God's thoughts are not our thoughts, nor are they even like ours. We aren't even in the same neighborhood.... We avoid pain and seek peace. God uses pain to bring use peace.... We love what rusts. He loves what endures. We rejoice at our successes. He rejoices at our confessions...."

Power of 3.

The number 3 has been very prominent in my life these days...


Third trip to Italy...

Third trip to Atlanta...

 
(ump-teenth time seeing Sugarland...)

 
And the final 3rd? Well, let's just say it's a good one. :)

I guess the third time really is a charm.

The Quarter Life Crisis

 The Quarter-Life Crisis
by unknown

It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are a lot of things about yourself that you didn't know and may or may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.

You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you do not realize is that they are realizing that too and are not really cold or catty or mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.

You look at your job. It is not even close to what you thought you would be doing or maybe you are looking for one and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and are scared.

You miss the comforts of college, of groups, of socializing with the same people on a constant basis. But then you realize that maybe they weren't so great after all.

You are beginning to understand yourself and what you want and do not want. Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging a bit more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and add things to your list of what is acceptable and what is not. You are insecure and then secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.

You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you or you lay in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough to get to know better. You love someone but maybe love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you are not a bad person.

One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap and getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. You go through the same emotions and questions over and over and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision.

You worry about loans and money and the future and making a life for yourself and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!

What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.

I came across this on the Internet and while I haven't hit all the stages of my very own quarter-life crisis, I can see the beginning stages and am definitely thankful to whoever wrote such an accurate description of what early to mid twenty somethings go through. This is just the beginning of a whole new chapter....

The move/ A lesson in trusting your gut

I recently made the first big (literal) move of my life. Sure, I spent 4 months living in Denmark and not knowing a soul or what I was getting myself into before I went... But, this move was different. This move put me into my first one bedroom apartment- a space all to myself- all paid for by me, myself and I.

I began my apartment search in mid-September- having lived with my Dad and stepmom since I returned from Denmark in May. I went to several apartment complexes and even looked at a few units being leased out by their owners... it was legit 7 or so places and nothing really felt right at all and I was getting super frustrated... until I came to my current address. I saw 5-10 units and once again, was beginning to think I'd never find the perfect spot- until I walked into my current apartment. I could see myself cooking in this unit's kitchen while my friends drank wine and chatted with me at my bar, doing laundry in my stackable washer/dryer, watching the beautiful sunset over the western NC mountains from my balcony, placing my Dad's amazing artwork on my new walls, hanging photos of friends and family in my bedroom- everything. just. felt. right. I knew this was absolutely it. This is where I would begin my independent adult life. Free of everything negative in the past and starting fresh.

If I've learned anything in the past year, it has by far been to trust my gut. I haven't always followed my gut feeling but I've certainly known the feeling this year... To trust why I've made certain decisions, to trust myself enough to spend time with the right people and not the bad, to trust that uneasy feeling that a friendship is no longer mutually beneficial, to trust myself enough to know that a long-term relationship was over the second he got on that plane, to trust myself enough to make the hard decisions that I don't want to face, to trust that I'll be okay no matter what is thrown at me. Trusting that deep down gut instinct has been something that I've had trouble with in the past but these past few months have made me realize how important it is to do so.

A huge challenge for me is giving up on people- I give people that do not have my best interest at heart entirely too many chances to be (what I'd consider to be) a good friend and I hate coming to terms with ending relationships for my own well-being. However, after everything that has happened in the past few months, I've realized how important this is and how those people aren't worth it and I don't need them. I know who my real friends are and don't need the rest.

I'm working very hard to slow my life down- deal with issues at hand, take the time to grieve such a huge, sudden, and unexpected loss, to not force friendships, trust my gut feeling about others, not feel rushed to hang out with people or make new friends in a certain time frame... Just slow things down, let them happen naturally and focus on work, my family, and real friends.

This move has made me trust my gut much more and I finally feel free to trust myself and be more cautious in choosing who I want to spend my time with. To me, this move symbolizing the significance of trusting gut instincts and I am forever thankful for that.