The move/ A lesson in trusting your gut

I recently made the first big (literal) move of my life. Sure, I spent 4 months living in Denmark and not knowing a soul or what I was getting myself into before I went... But, this move was different. This move put me into my first one bedroom apartment- a space all to myself- all paid for by me, myself and I.

I began my apartment search in mid-September- having lived with my Dad and stepmom since I returned from Denmark in May. I went to several apartment complexes and even looked at a few units being leased out by their owners... it was legit 7 or so places and nothing really felt right at all and I was getting super frustrated... until I came to my current address. I saw 5-10 units and once again, was beginning to think I'd never find the perfect spot- until I walked into my current apartment. I could see myself cooking in this unit's kitchen while my friends drank wine and chatted with me at my bar, doing laundry in my stackable washer/dryer, watching the beautiful sunset over the western NC mountains from my balcony, placing my Dad's amazing artwork on my new walls, hanging photos of friends and family in my bedroom- everything. just. felt. right. I knew this was absolutely it. This is where I would begin my independent adult life. Free of everything negative in the past and starting fresh.

If I've learned anything in the past year, it has by far been to trust my gut. I haven't always followed my gut feeling but I've certainly known the feeling this year... To trust why I've made certain decisions, to trust myself enough to spend time with the right people and not the bad, to trust that uneasy feeling that a friendship is no longer mutually beneficial, to trust myself enough to know that a long-term relationship was over the second he got on that plane, to trust myself enough to make the hard decisions that I don't want to face, to trust that I'll be okay no matter what is thrown at me. Trusting that deep down gut instinct has been something that I've had trouble with in the past but these past few months have made me realize how important it is to do so.

A huge challenge for me is giving up on people- I give people that do not have my best interest at heart entirely too many chances to be (what I'd consider to be) a good friend and I hate coming to terms with ending relationships for my own well-being. However, after everything that has happened in the past few months, I've realized how important this is and how those people aren't worth it and I don't need them. I know who my real friends are and don't need the rest.

I'm working very hard to slow my life down- deal with issues at hand, take the time to grieve such a huge, sudden, and unexpected loss, to not force friendships, trust my gut feeling about others, not feel rushed to hang out with people or make new friends in a certain time frame... Just slow things down, let them happen naturally and focus on work, my family, and real friends.

This move has made me trust my gut much more and I finally feel free to trust myself and be more cautious in choosing who I want to spend my time with. To me, this move symbolizing the significance of trusting gut instincts and I am forever thankful for that.